You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Randomize
