Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
