Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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