grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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