found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
