Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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