Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize