we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize