butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
