He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
