Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I want to stick my p in your. b.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
