i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
A+ Viking dick
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
