She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I wish you could order shots online.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
