Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
