Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
