And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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