What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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