What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I need help removing her.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
