i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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