We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize