You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
