i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
i believe in u and ur pee
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
