she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
im on a boat
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