so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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