You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
