got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
