We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
