we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
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