What did we do last night that was yellow?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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