i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
