Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
even my farts smell like vagina
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
