4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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