belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize