the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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