Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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