it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
