hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
