I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
