my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
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