Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
