you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
