Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
