what if every blade of grass was a penis?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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