Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
