Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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