Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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