I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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