what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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