is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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