when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize