i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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