I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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