I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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