Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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