How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
