That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
