I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
