Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
