He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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