It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Drunk is a universal language darling
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
