Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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