standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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